Art Collection Vol. I

Title: Golden Touch!
Prompt: 013. Yellow.
Pairing: Schwinski
Rating: PG-14 for extreme stupidity. *FACEPALM*
Warning: Crackity, crack, crack.
Author's Notes: This is the product of having too much sugar and not having enough of sleep. I should get some help, here. >_>



Once upon a time, somewhere in Germany, there lived a golden iguana named Schweini.


...he actually wasn't an Iguana but he was, er, transformed by some typical evil wizard into one.

One sunny day, a really queer-looking faerie came along:


AND SO SCHWENI THOUGHT IT WAS HIS ONLY CHANCE TO GET SOME HELP. SO HE YELLED AT THE FAERIE AND TALKED TO HIM.


Schweini: So, you see, I'm turned into an iguana by some evil bitch. And the only way for me to be back in my human form is to get someone to kiss me.




Poldi(who looks nothing like the actualy Poldi, but hell): Uhm, okay? And you're telling me to do that?




Schweini: Well, OBVIOUSLY. When I turn back into my human form I will give you hawt mansex whatever you wish.




Poldi: ... *COUGHCHOKES* okay, that's a deal




AND SO POLDI THE GAY FAERIE KISSED SCHWEINI THE GOLDEN IGUANA.



And they had kinky sex on the dirt lived happily ever after.

THE END.


Title: Chill, Hanke.
Prompt: 015. Blue
Character: Mike Hanke
Rating: PG
Warning: Crack. And pants.
Author's Notes: The first art from the Claim Post! For Sara (wisniowy). To those of you who didn't give me any suggestion as to how you want me to draw your claim, THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU, TOO.




SMURF!HANKE.


Title: Presents
Prompt: 097. Artist's Choice
Rating: PG
Warning: Man in dress. And pink pumps.
Author's Notes: I was browsing through the old Allure issues and found this pink dress which I knew would look good on Torsten. *DIES* And so I drew it. :'''( Mine looks nothing like Torsten, though. 8'DDDDDDDDDDDDDD But I'm happy I was able to draw a body. Not so bad for a first time. ^_^ But I got sloppy at the end and yeah. Better try harder next time. D8






Title: Magazine Cover
Prompt: 096. Artist's Choice
Rating: Probably G.
Warning: Football player in a dress. *SHIFTY EYES TIMES A BILLION*
Disclaimer: Torsten is not really a cross-dresser not in the public, anyway, but he has a whole closet ful of dresses at home, locked somewhere so his family can never find them. THIS IS ALL MADE UP IN MY HEAD.
A/N: My tablet made me do it. >_>